May 18 2020

Horribly Helpful Ways to Not Touch Your Face

#5 –  Try to not grow out your sh**ty facial hair [for men, mostly].

Sure, isolation is probably the opportune time to really give this whole manly wilderness thing a shot. But it does invite a lot of hand-to-face interaction. The itching, the scratching, and the creepy petting will set you back. 


Oh, and just so you know, your chinstrap will not reinvent your jawline, or your personality.


#4  – Try out that Edward Scissorhands costume you’ve been talking about. 

Cosplay is your friend! Grab that all-black ensemble and glue some steak knives and junk drawer scissors to each hand. Yes, that brings new problems (bathroom visits, back massages, etc.), but your moneymaker is golden and hey, you’re a half-decent J-Depp. 


#3  – Try wearing a ski mask. Yes, like the kind you shouldn’t wear into a 7/11. 

While the first two tactics are focused on your hands, this concept lets your face do the heavy lifting. If you’re wearing a ski mask, the only thing you’re robbing is your fingers of some sweet skin-to-skin contact. 


#2  – Eat three greasy meals a day while googling adult acne. 

Trust me, as someone who blogs and inhales Grubhub McGriddles, this will work. 


#1  – Try sitting on your hands.

Simple and humiliating. It’s the exact same treatment you’d give your sister’s kid who won’t stop picking her nose. It does work for children, and it will work for you. So, do this until you’re mature enough to not touch your face, mister! 


#0 – Try enjoying more of [ 2 one 5 ]’s blogs (we know you loved this one) and check out our recent work. 


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