Today is January 17th. Exactly three-hundred and two years ago, Benjamin Franklin graced the earth with his presence. We’re treating this as a special day because the bridge named after this man has grown into the symbol of [ 2 one 5 ]. Fuck Jersey! Just kidding. Back to Franklin. Besides having his mug on the hundred without even being a president, Franklin contributed many great things to not only the city of Philadelphia, but the country as a whole. Instead of boring you with stuff you might very well know about Mr. Franklin, here’s a few lesser known tidbits.

• Was born in Boston
• Has numerous step brothers and sisters
• Ran away from Boston, became a fugitive, ended up in Philadelphia
• Played the guitar
• Honorary degrees from Harvard and Yale

Now, as we celebrate this day of Franklin’s birth, let’s take a look at the virtues Franklin lived by since the age of 20:
1.) Temperance – Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.
2.) Silence – Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.
3.) Order – Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.
4.) Resolution – Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.
5.) Frugality – Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e. waste nothing.
6.) Industry – Lose no time; be always employ’d in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions.
7.) Sincerity – Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly.
8.) Justice – Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.
9.) Moderation – Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.
10.) Cleanliness – Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, cloaths, or habitation.
11.) Tranquillity – Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.
12.) Chastity – Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another’s peace or reputation.
13.) Humility – Imitate Jesus and Socrates.

Deep Big Franks, deep. In honor of Benny’s birthday, why not try and follow these virtues, even if just for today. Or use a semicolon as much as he does; it’s fairly underused. Or just throw a penny on his grave.